How long will my boyfriend probably be in jail?
Yesterday night he just lost it. He has lots of issues with his parents. They abused him and used to leave him with a man who raped him. Even when they found out, they didn't get help for him. They just said he needs to get over it and that because he is depressed he should go live in a permanent home for adults(his mom is crazy-they dont't even have those here anymore!). But he can't get over it-you wouldn't believe all the horrible stuff that happened during his childhood! He is 20 now and anger has built up to a high degree.
So last night he finally blew up. His mom said some horrible things to him and he hit her and broke her back car window. Later that night the police found him and arrested him.
I am so scared. I know what he did was wrong but.. I can hardly blame him. And my baby girl and I need him so badly. I do not know how to live without him! He is a wonderful father and boyfriend... :( I am just terrified of what will happen to him.
Answers:
he needs to stay away from him parents. get help for him and yourself. his parents didn't support him or believe in him - but you know what !! YOU DO AND THATS IMPORTANT - so protect him from his parents and seek help through the government agencies in your area - this is very serious and it will get worse (not better) . He didn't know love until you gave it to him...so keep the love strong and get help for him and yourself
good luck
Michelle
There is no set answer. The possibility of jail time depends on a lot of factors. His mother would have to formally charge him and any punishment would be based on the severity of his actions. If he hit her more than once or injured her, it will be worse than if he just smacked her. Breaking the car window would be a fairly minor charge compared to assault. However this turns out, he is best served to avoid his parents entirely.
I feel sorry that he has had such a bad past but many others have horrible issues also and learned to deal with them. As for him, first thing he needs mental help to learn how to cope with his past, help with anger management and how to take it out on something other than being destructive. Your child does not need to be around one until he learns that breaking things is no way to deal with anger like that.
Give him love and support, tell him you will be waiting for him when he gets the help he needs but he has to get that first.
If he has that much anger inside, what happens someday if the 2 of you got into an argument and he "lost it"? No child needs to be in that surrounding growing up.nor do you. Don't say oh he wouldn't do that for he has a very troubled past and like you said, he has so much anger built up that has got to have him on the edge. People just don't go breaking things when they get mad no matter how much was said.or none of our windows would be OK...So please, help him get his help first.as for time in jail, probably not long depends on the value amount of whether will be just a misdemeanor or not or a felony charge.
Your boyfriend has some serious anger issues with his parents. He needs to seek counseling. He needs to stop interacting with his parents.
The Judge in the matter will probably issue a "Restraining Order" on him against him to his mother. It is called a "order of protection." This is a very serious situation. He could be charged with "terrorist threats." In some states domestic violence issues often have these charges levied against a person who commits violent acts. The bail could be as high as $300,000. If it's his first offense, he could be sentenced to 30-90 days or longer. It depends. He needs a lawyer.
Good Luck,
Jim
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So last night he finally blew up. His mom said some horrible things to him and he hit her and broke her back car window. Later that night the police found him and arrested him.
I am so scared. I know what he did was wrong but.. I can hardly blame him. And my baby girl and I need him so badly. I do not know how to live without him! He is a wonderful father and boyfriend... :( I am just terrified of what will happen to him.
Answers:
he needs to stay away from him parents. get help for him and yourself. his parents didn't support him or believe in him - but you know what !! YOU DO AND THATS IMPORTANT - so protect him from his parents and seek help through the government agencies in your area - this is very serious and it will get worse (not better) . He didn't know love until you gave it to him...so keep the love strong and get help for him and yourself
good luck
Michelle
There is no set answer. The possibility of jail time depends on a lot of factors. His mother would have to formally charge him and any punishment would be based on the severity of his actions. If he hit her more than once or injured her, it will be worse than if he just smacked her. Breaking the car window would be a fairly minor charge compared to assault. However this turns out, he is best served to avoid his parents entirely.
I feel sorry that he has had such a bad past but many others have horrible issues also and learned to deal with them. As for him, first thing he needs mental help to learn how to cope with his past, help with anger management and how to take it out on something other than being destructive. Your child does not need to be around one until he learns that breaking things is no way to deal with anger like that.
Give him love and support, tell him you will be waiting for him when he gets the help he needs but he has to get that first.
If he has that much anger inside, what happens someday if the 2 of you got into an argument and he "lost it"? No child needs to be in that surrounding growing up.nor do you. Don't say oh he wouldn't do that for he has a very troubled past and like you said, he has so much anger built up that has got to have him on the edge. People just don't go breaking things when they get mad no matter how much was said.or none of our windows would be OK...So please, help him get his help first.as for time in jail, probably not long depends on the value amount of whether will be just a misdemeanor or not or a felony charge.
Your boyfriend has some serious anger issues with his parents. He needs to seek counseling. He needs to stop interacting with his parents.
The Judge in the matter will probably issue a "Restraining Order" on him against him to his mother. It is called a "order of protection." This is a very serious situation. He could be charged with "terrorist threats." In some states domestic violence issues often have these charges levied against a person who commits violent acts. The bail could be as high as $300,000. If it's his first offense, he could be sentenced to 30-90 days or longer. It depends. He needs a lawyer.
Good Luck,
Jim
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